July 30, 2010
On marriage
I've been watching a HK TV series recently. There is a theme of marriage and love that is being explored in the show. Man was in a happy and stable marriage, with 2 children. Along came his ex-girlfriend, who still loves him. Man got swayed in his husband role and started to feel that he has owed ex-girlfriend a lot by not marrying her n not being able to be with her all the years. Man had an affair with ex-girlfriend. Wife found out and was very hurt. Man felt remorse but decided to 'be fair' to Wife since he was the one at wrong. Divorce papers signed. Man and Wife continued to be in amiable relationship. Man still cares about Wife. Fast-forward to a few months later. Man decided to marry ex-girlfriend. Wife has cleared her confusion about Man's infidelity and felt that she shouldn't have given up so easily and sacrifice her marriage. Moreover, there are 2 kids to think about. Wife approached Man to ask if there is a chance to salvage their marriage if she's willing to forgive him. Man and Wife cried. Man explained his feeling for Girlfriend is 'love' but what he has with Wife is 'a solid and rich relationship' with two lovely children. He was also in a deep dilemma. In the end, he decided he had already broken his marriage vows with Wife, so he must not break his promise towards Girlfriend again. Otherwise, he would have no more credibility to his name. ===I think Man is crap. I think marriage is more than just love. Marriage is an institution that binds two persons in love together, that's why we make marriage vows. It is therefore, a commitment towards each other, a responsibility to keep loving each other, to say the least. An institution that has to be respected, and that's why we hold weddings in churches (presense of God) and have wedding banquets (in the presense of family and friends). We want this commitment to be acknowledged and respected by the people (and the 'Supreme Being') we love. Otherwise, why don't couples just go to KFC, order a KFC Buddy Platter meal and pronounce themselves 'husband and wife'? So, going back to the TV... what Man should have done is to work the marriage out with Wife upon making the mistake of having an affair. He should have a commitment to love Wife even more, instead of being 'fair' to Wife. That 'fairness', to me, is just selfishness. It's self-justifying and self-fulfilling. I believe in true love too. I believe in the possibility of meeting your 'true love' after you get married too. But, sorry, mate. No matter how true that love is, it is not more true than a marriage. Unless your marriage was a forced one, you should remember that you signed on the papers because at that point in time, you believed you found your true love. Signing the papers meant a life-time promise to honour that true love, and not falter when the 2nd true love comes along. That's why, marriage is NOT for some people. 'Cos they cannot make up their minds and they are not steadfast enough to appreciate the institution of marriage for themselves.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 11:33
July 14, 2010
one of those conversations...
me: I think Bert is better looking than Joachim. em: Is it? me: Ya, I mean... Ok, Loew is younger, has better features... but Bert has the charisma. He looks like he's wise and charismatic. That comes with age lor.em: Ya...me: So, don't worry, dardee. When you get older, I will find you charismatic too, provided you don't piss me off with your stubborn-ness. em: I think Loew is not bad mah... quite handsome. me: Ya, but he doesn't have the charisma. I am more attracted to charisma n wisdom than handsome. When you grow old, hopefully, you will also...em: When I grow old, my hair will go lesser.me: (lol) It's ok... then your charisma and wisdom will shine through your bald head.em: I'm not so sure about the earlier part but I'm quite sure about that later part. em: When I was in school, my teacher used to teach me that you must say, 'the hair', and not 'a hair'. me: Ya...em: But I think soon, I can go back and prove her wrong; that it's also correct to say 'a hair'. me: (lol) Ya, so 'hair' is a countable noun, not an uncountable noun. It's not 'I have hair on my head' anymore; it's 'I have a hair'.em: And, 'few hair', and not 'little hair'... 'I have a few hair.'em: (sigh) Can we stop talking about 'hair'?me: (lol) I wasn't the one who started it.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 11:43
July 13, 2010
one of those conversations...
me: I think children need to be taught how to read situations.em: Ya...me: Right? It's important. You need to know what's OK to do in different social situations.em: Ya, they need to learn that it's wrong to play PSP when their girlfriend is around... they must not do that. me: Ya, that's one. Well, if you don't know how to read social context and cannot socialise properly with people, it's like... going to a funeral and cracking a joke about the deceased there. It's wrong, it's inappropriate.em: ...But, I do go to weddings and make jokes there.me: That's different. Weddings are where two persons make the mistake of being together for the rest of their lives and still try to celebrate it. So, it's ok cos it's a joke by itself, already.me: I don't want to have a child. It's stressful, you know. At my age, when I'm that old, I don't want to be stressed with a kid.
em: Ya, me too. I don't want to be stressed with your stress.
me: (touches wood) If we ever have a child, you'd better not interfere in my disciplining him.
em: No, I won't. I won't do anything, not even anything.
me: Ya, you'd better not...
em: I will just stay away... just inform me when the child has grown up.
me: You won't do anything at all, right?
em: Ya.
me: I will just inform you when it's time for you to start paying for his Masters education, ok?
me: It's so difficult to get married... your parents, my parents... I think we'd better not get married lah...
em: ...
me: You keep your parents to yourself; I keep my parents to myself. No need to share. Simple!
me: You have to manage your mum's expectations.
em: Wah, difficult lah...
me: Ok, in that case, I will manage her for you. I will talk to her, ok?
em: Ya, ok! Virgo versus virgo.
me: You really want to see World War III eh?
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:52
July 08, 2010
business
More like 'busy-ness'. I started my training as a home-based Intervention Therapist with Wee Care last week. To begin with, I have to complete 40 hours of in-vivo training, mainly observing other therapists use the ABA approach to work with young autistic children aged 3-6 and conducting some discrete trials myself. This is the second week and I must say that every observation has been very interesting and there is so much more room for each child to experience success in the tasks than what I do in my academic tutoring sessions. It is very different, indeed, and I'm learning every little bit that I can as I endeavour (hard) to get out of bed by 7.30am each morning to attend training. I count myself lucky to be able to learn ABA, while having background knowledge of TEACCH. It's a little like having the best of both worlds. I believe ABA has its strengths in drawing a young autistic child out of their isolated world and to make them more aware of the world we are in. Consequently, to modify their behaviour to adapt to the workings of this world, including the social aspects. It's a strong and effective programme in achieving these goals. On the other hand, I think TEACCH is a great approach to teach autistic children independence and to train them to better make sense of the work expected of them. There are still a lot, a lot more to be learnt. I'm happy to be in a kind of a team, after having been self-employed for the past 2+ years. I'm happy that dardee is very supportive of this move I've taken, even if he doesn't exactly understand the nature of my work. That doesn't matter, as I will slowly 'expose' him to what I actually do in a day's work (thank goodness for YouTube). I'm also glad that my family is supportive, especially since they probably have absolutely no idea what I'm up to, getting up so early and getting home quite late these days. But, at least, I'm working more 'regular' hours. haha... This is a career path that doesn't come with easy understanding from people outside the field. I chose this, because I see the value in my work and I know the every little difference I am capable of making in a special child's world. Understanding, therefore, is a compromise I have to make. Together with income. But, as long as I can end off a day knowing that a child has felt success in a task, in his understanding of the environment around him, no matter how little, I feel it's worth it. Like one of the slogans on the pamphlets - "A special teacher for a special child". That, is my idealistic self... struggling to make reality.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:01
Also in this eden
Even before
other edens
Kudos